running some of the trails, writing some of the words
Injury is isolating. Undiagnosed injury or illness is trying. Seeking diagnosis during a pandemic-induced shelter-in-place order is bringing up the deepest of feels. I know things could be worse, but that doesn't negate the darkness creeping in, which I typically keep at bay with regular physical activity.
"Will you win?" This was the question my 7 year old niece asked when I told her about an upcoming race. Upon answering with a definitive "no", she inquired further, "why are you doing it, then?" Why, indeed. I do it for emotional stability, physical health, to connect with nature, to work towards a goal,… Continue reading Why are you doing it, then?
Like stress, a certain level of comparison is healthy, but go a hair beyond that and it quickly turns toxic. Comparison used as a tool to assign value is the real culprit.
...the goal has been achieved and no matter where you sit, some pointy rock edge is jamming you in the ass - it gets cold and windy and chances are a storm will roll in before too long. Before the journey down the mountain is even over, you find yourself already craving another and reminiscing about the journey up, almost wishing you were still headed in that direction.
Right around mile 22 is when things started to go south. I was grinding up a hill, seemingly on the path to Mordor based on the heat and the terrain, when I encountered a hiker. Two runners who kept passing me, sitting to rest until I passed them, only to pass me again, were coming up to pass me for perhaps the 37th time.
Leave it to a songwriter to describe the purpose trail running serves for me better than I can myself...
While my unconscious has been busy processing all the disruption in my life, my ego went hog wild, partying and breaking valuables. It's not all that surprising, but while I was in it, I just knew I was miserable and couldn't figure out how to get out of it. That's when I remembered. I have a say in the matter.
Self-worth, for those of us not innately blessed with it, has to be and more importantly, can be earned.
I started reflecting on my journey and would like to offer some recommendations based on what I would do differently and what I got right - but mostly on what I do now after getting it wrong. It's not that tactical, but I promise you, it's just as important. You'll figure out the tactical stuff as you go along.
If you're a human adult, you've certainly encountered all of these things and probably taken them a bit too personally a time or two. If you're me, you have become intimately familiar with each one of them, like a trio of sister-wives.
trail kat 