“I wish it was only a stress fracture” and other laments of a chronically injured piece of shit

I was holding off on writing anything until I had answers, until I had my head straight, until I was out of emotional and diagnostic limbo. But that's not going to happen any time soon - or maybe ever, honestly. I have spent the last couple of months spiraling down to some really dark places…

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Everybody is fighting their own battle and we’re all in this together

Injury is isolating. Undiagnosed injury or illness is trying. Seeking diagnosis during a pandemic-induced shelter-in-place order is bringing up the deepest of feels. I know things could be worse, but that doesn't negate the darkness creeping in, which I typically keep at bay with regular physical activity.

The ultimate challenge

I've been composing this post for weeks, trying to align editing with the fleeting moments of hope and positivity. Truth be told, I have been having pretty wild swings between the milliseconds of hope for running another 50 miler and losing sight of all joy and purpose. Today, I enter week seven of no running…

Confusion, followed by anxiety and fear

It's 4:14 am. I can't sleep. I tried breathing from my toes up to the top of my head, but my mind just kept swirling and swirling. After a while, I gave in and decided to do "awake" things. Like most Wednesdays this winter, I had a scheduled workout for which the weather is not…

Reject what you’ve been taught

Whether you use these specific resources or not, the main thing I want you to know is that pain is a great indicator that you need to pay attention, but it doesn't always mean that you have to give up. You just have to work for it. No one can just run free without pain or injury if they don't do the work to keep their body balanced and maintained.