I was holding off on writing anything until I had answers, until I had my head straight, until I was out of emotional and diagnostic limbo. But that's not going to happen any time soon - or maybe ever, honestly. I have spent the last couple of months spiraling down to some really dark places… Continue reading “I wish it was only a stress fracture” and other laments of a chronically injured piece of shit
Everybody is fighting their own battle and we’re all in this together
Injury is isolating. Undiagnosed injury or illness is trying. Seeking diagnosis during a pandemic-induced shelter-in-place order is bringing up the deepest of feels. I know things could be worse, but that doesn't negate the darkness creeping in, which I typically keep at bay with regular physical activity.
Fear and Consequence… and hope
Identifying fear-based behavior is a necessary step toward choosing healthier action. That is my motivation for sharing this very personal, yet not-all-that unique part of myself with you.
Note to Self
As it relates to the aforementioned failure, I'm about to admit some things that are highly personal, kind of embarrassing and likely to be perceived negatively. But they are feelings influencing my current reality. I can't change them without acknowledging them, so here goes….
Don’t Call It a Comeback
After 8 months of dealing with Achilles Tendonitis, I've learned many lessons and now learning where I fit back into the trail running community.
The ultimate challenge
I've been composing this post for weeks, trying to align editing with the fleeting moments of hope and positivity. Truth be told, I have been having pretty wild swings between the milliseconds of hope for running another 50 miler and losing sight of all joy and purpose. Today, I enter week seven of no running… Continue reading The ultimate challenge
Constraint Necessity Pain
"When fishermen can't go to sea, they repair the nets. Let the constraints of the time serve you in righting your relationship to your Self. Be mindful that rectification must come before progress. And as always, consider the uses of adversity."
Confusion, followed by anxiety and fear
It's 4:14 am. I can't sleep. I tried breathing from my toes up to the top of my head, but my mind just kept swirling and swirling. After a while, I gave in and decided to do "awake" things. Like most Wednesdays this winter, I had a scheduled workout for which the weather is not… Continue reading Confusion, followed by anxiety and fear
Reject what you’ve been taught
Whether you use these specific resources or not, the main thing I want you to know is that pain is a great indicator that you need to pay attention, but it doesn't always mean that you have to give up. You just have to work for it. No one can just run free without pain or injury if they don't do the work to keep their body balanced and maintained.
Growth before the sweet release of death
Did you ever hear the phrase "exquisite pain" and be like wtf does that even mean? Me too. This phrase has always baffled me. Like most things I don't fully understand, I'm drawn to exploring it deeper.